All posts by rightfromthestart

Random Thoughts & Life Stories, Uncategorized

Goderich, The Prettiest Town in Canada – Before and After the Tornado

August 24, 2011 rightfromthestart 1 Comment

I first visited Goderich when I was 16 on a family holiday to visit my uncle. I fell in love with it and remember it being the first holiday when I had to hold back the tears as I left. Goderich is hailed as the prettiest town in Canada, the sunsets are stunning, architecture beautiful, has gorgeous views of Lake Huron and is green and leafy. Since then I have visited my family there many times and have fond memories.

I was shocked today when I received photos that my uncle had taken. At first I wasn’t sure what had caused the devastation, but it transpires that a tornado hit the centre of Goderich on Sunday. The tornado lasted around 10 minutes but the damage it caused is tremendous. People have lost homes and businesses and there are no trees left around the historic town square.

The bank

Treeless roads

This is my uncle’s old house, where we stayed on our holidays.

My uncle’s workplace.

My heart goes out to the residents of Goderich, how awful it must be to have your home town destroyed over night, like tearing down your memories. It has been on my mind all day, so strange when this happens in a place you know well.

children, early education & play, education, parenting, pre schoolers

Starting School – A Change in the Relationship

August 23, 2011 rightfromthestart Leave a comment

I was asked if I would write a post about starting school. This isn’t a recent event in our household, my eldest started school 3 years ago. Many of my friends are struggling with the thought of their children going to school, fearing how much they will miss them. I don’t remember feeling any great sense of loss but this was probably due to the impending birth of my 2nd child. My eldest starting school meant that I would be able to spend quality time with the baby and get rest when I needed it. One thing that has struck me however when recalling those times is the way in which our relationship changed once she started school.

When you have a baby and toddler you feel that you know everything about them, you are always with them when they do things and understand all their little signals better than anyone else. You as a parent are also the biggest influence on your child’s life. You decide what they are exposed to, what they do, where they go and how they are disciplined and brought up. I felt very close to my daughter in her pre-school years. I wasn’t a stay at home mum but even on my working days I spent time talking to her about what she had done and planning what we would do together.

I think this has been the biggest change since starting school. I am no longer the only influence on her life and many of the things that happen on a daily basis I never know about. When I ask about her day I get ‘fine’ as a blanket response. Yes, she still talks about some things, but I do feel that there is a lot that I miss out on. Helping out at school sometimes helps, you get to know the other children and the routine and teachers. This has been difficult however since having her younger sisters. Being at school takes up a lot of time, couple that with clubs and playing with friends and sometimes you feel like you barely see them. I try really hard to build in quality time, bedtime stories, talking at mealtimes or sharing a game or piece of music, but it still feels inadequate compared to the early days.

I have had a positive experience with school. My daughter has enjoyed school, been sufficiently challenged, enjoyed new experiences and made good friends. She is growing into a wonderful young lady and becoming independent. On occasions we have time together doing things that the younger ones wouldn’t appreciate or be able to do. I look forward to more of these as she grows older.

Once our children start school we are no longer the be all and end all, but we are still a major influence on their lives. They still love and need us, they still look up to us and want us to share in their achievements and interests. We no longer get to spend so much time doing things with them but that enables us to do more for ourselves and appreciate the times when we can do things together. Starting school is a new chapter, bringing new challenges but it is also a time when child and parent alike can gain a bit of independence and build new interests .

40, days out, parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories

Turning 40 – Aging Well? Comparing Photoshoots 10 years on.

August 15, 2011 rightfromthestart 10 Comments

When I turned 30 a friend bought me a photo shoot as a gift. The photos were stunning and I’ve always kept one on my wall as inspiration for how I would like to look when I had finally finished my childbearing days.

When I was 30 I felt pretty good about the way I looked, I had just got engaged, was going to the gym regularly, eating healthily and was happy. More recently however I have come to the conclusion that I have always been too self critical and never really accepted how amazing I looked.

This year I turned 40. As clichéd as it is, I see this as a turning point. I don’t want to have anymore children so I now have the opportunity to get my body back in shape, to build a career and to become me again. I have just returned from a photo shoot for my 40th birthday. In the past 10 years I’ve had 3 kids and 2 miscarriages, I’ve got more wrinkles and spend a lot less time on looking good. I rarely get a haircut and lots of my clothes are past their sell by date. However, I have finally stopped beating myself up for not being as slim as I was in my 20’s. For the first time in a very long time I feel good about the way I look. I think for a 40 year old with 3 kids, the youngest of whom is only 9 months , I look pretty damn good.

I kept the cat suit from the first photo shoot – I never really believed I would ever be able to wear it again, but today I proved myself wrong. Ok, I’m not quite as slim as 10 years ago and I did need a bit of help from some Bridget Jones pants but I did it and I think I look pretty good .

So here are some of the photos from my 30th

And the one’s I had taken today proving we can still look fabulous at 40

For anyone who wants a special gift for a special birthday I can highly recommend New ID Studios for a makeover photo shoot. The shoot includes a hair wash, cut and style, makeup and the photoshoot. A lovely day out and a great way to boost your self esteem.

parenting, Uncategorized

Losing a Child – Lessons to be Learned

August 12, 2011 rightfromthestart Leave a comment

Yesterday I posted about our lovely day out at Glenny Woods. It was a wonderful day but there was an incident that spoiled the day to some extent.

How many parents have felt that moment of panic when you realise that you cannot find one of your children? It has only happened to me a couple of times, in shops when they wander off and are lost for all of 30 seconds before being rescued by a friendly shop assistant. It may only be 30 seconds but it doesn’t help that feeling of panic.

Yesterday my friend and I had 6 children between us. We went on a treasure hunt with 4 of the children leaving a 7 year old and 5 year old to finish the masks that they were making. When we returned there was no sign of either of them.

Initially I wasn’t worried, my 7 year old is very sensible and I assumed that they were either in the toilet or had gone into another field or part of the wood to play. However, we checked all around and there was no sign of them anywhere. At this point the staff were beginning to pack up and people were starting to leave. My friend searched around the woodland leaving me to look after the little ones. Ten minutes later she sent me a message to alert the staff because they still couldn’t be found. As I was about to do so I spotted them heading towards the toilets.

I expected them to be upset because they hadn’t been able to find us, but instead they came bounding up with big smiles on their faces. I explained that we had been really worried because we hadn’t known where they were. It transpired that some of the teenage volunteers had asked them if they wanted to make a den and they had gone a long way out into a far part of the woods to do so. I asked my daughter why she hadn’t come to find us to tell us she was going. She said that she had called and thought we had heard her.

After lots of ‘ but I ….’ type defences, I finally got her to listen, explaining calmly that I wasn’t angry with her but I needed to know that she understood what to do next time. I explained that if ever she was going to go somewhere and I wouldn’t know where she was she needed to find me and tell me where she was going, not just assume I had heard.

So lesson 1 … make sure your children have clear ground rules on days out, however sensible you think they are.

The teenagers and staff were very apologetic. The children had told them that their parents had said it was ok. Lesson 2… never assume that a child’s word is correct always check with the parents first. I am quite sure that this incident will encourage the staff to have guidelines for what to do if you are taking children away from the main area in the future.

When you are in charge of other people’s children it sometimes takes an incident such as this to teach you how important it is to have rigorous procedures in place. Years ago as an inexperienced playworker, I took a group of children on a trip. Before we left we took the register and counted all the children. We then took the children to board the minibus. When we got to our destination (not far away) we had a message from the nursery at the family centre we had just left. The message said that we had left a 6 year old boy behind. The boy had decided that he didn’t want to go on the trip and hidden as we had boarded the bus. We were so lucky that the nursery was on site and that they had taken him in. From that moment on I always counted children on and off the minibus!

These are the lessons to be learned for childcarers, parents and children, simple reminders that hopefully will avoid that feeling of panic happening to you.

days out, early education & play, forest schools, outdoor play, play, wildlife, woods

If You Go Down to the Woods Today – 10 Woodland Activities for Children

August 11, 2011 rightfromthestart 13 Comments

We had a lovely time today at Glenny Woods organised by our local Children’s Centre. Glenny Woods is a wonderful woodland centre owned by the Scouts Movement. They have an indoor room with a veranda for when it is wet, an area for lighting fires with bench seating, adventure playground equipment and facilities for making dens.

However, even if your nearest wood doesn’t have these added facilities there are lots of simple fun things that you can do with children. Try not to rush children on to looking at the next thing. They may want to spend half an hour looking at a clump of moss or sliding down a muddy bank. If you really want your children to appreciate and explore nature then allow lots of time and move at their pace (however frustrating this might be).

1. Give children a piece of cardboard with double sided sticky tape on and get them to make a hat collecting natural things. This could be free choice or maybe have a colour theme. You could ask children to create a pattern eg. large and small things or find specific items to make their hat.

2. Put double sided sticky tape around the top of your child’s wellies and ask them to collect items of interest and stick them to their wellies.

3. Take magnifiers or bug jars and look for creatures. Take photographs so that you can identify them when you get home.

Look Mummy I found a snail

4. Young children will enjoy exploring the textures of things, moss, long grass, tree trunks, mud. Give children a textural treasure hunt – find things that are soft, smooth, hard, spiky, slimy, cold, warm, rough etc. Make a feely box containing some of the textured things or use a blindfold and ask children to describe what they are touching.

5. Give children a piece of string and ask them to find and attach the following items: something natural, something manmade, something colourful, something heavy and something with an interesting shape. Hang a line of string between 2 trees and hang the completed pieces from it to make a natural work of art.

6. Build a fire, toast marshmallows on whittled sticks or bake potatoes in the bottom of the fire.

7. Go on a treasure hunt

8. Play in the mud. Take tools and to see what you might find or stamp and feel the texture of wet gooey mud. Find a stick and draw or write in the wet mud, or take large sheets of paper and use mud to paint with – use fingers or sticks to apply the mud.

9. Collect natural materials to make a picture or sculpture . Make a frame from sticks or stones and ask the children to make a picture inside it using what they have collected. For the youngest children let them arrange leaves into a nest or sticks or stones into a pattern.

10. Build a den. Use sticks and build a den in the style of Eeyore’s house.

You might also want to check out some of these ideas

Finding the alphabet in nature

Fairy houses in the woods

A natural playground

Children Connecting with nature

Mud faces

parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories, Uncategorized

Listography – 5 Things I Would Change About Myself

August 9, 2011 rightfromthestart 5 Comments

I’m new to listography – often having perused other bloggers’ offerings but never adding my own. This weeks topic however struck a chord with me. I’m going through a big period of change at the moment and feel that I have had to re-evaluate every aspect of my life. Couple that with turning 40 and I’m considering who and what I want to be in the next 10 years. I therefore thought this exercise might be therapeutic and serve as a focus for my journey to a new me.

Having read Kate’s list I was a little unnerved to find that her list could so easily have been written by me. So here’s mine – the same but different…

1. To Be More Demonstrative – The comment Kate made about the feeling of discomfort when a close family member hugs you resonated with me. I think I’m pretty good at giving and receiving hugs and telling my nearest and nearest I love them. However, I would like to be more verbally demonstrative. I have always felt awkward when people do or say nice things not knowing quite how to react. When a person close to me has done something that I’m really proud of I understate my admiration because it feels uncomfortable to greet them with a flourish. I don’t know how to react when people give me amazing presents so often don’t show how much it means to me. I’d like to be more able to speak my mind.

2. To Be More Confident – I suppose this is quite a big one – ‘more confident at what?’ I hear you say. To have more confidence in my own ability and not to feel that other people are better/have more to offer than I have, which I think holds me back in lots of areas . To have more confidence in talking to new people, expressing my thoughts and putting myself forward.

3. To Be Tidy and Organised – I hate clutter and would love to have a beautifully clean and organised house and garden but however much I tidy it never seems to make a difference. I try to be organised but still end up losing things, getting out of the door late and forgetting things.

4.To Be More Exciting – I see myself as a fairly ordinary boring person. I’d like people to look at me and say ‘Wow you do that?’. I think I’m interesting but my life is not, maybe I just want to be Superwoman.

5. To Be Able to Ask for Help – I often have friends and neighbours who say ‘If you ever need any help just ask’. They probably hear my usual stressed tones in the mornings as I struggle to get 3 kids out of the house and stop the dogs from barking at all and sundry. There are few people who I go to for help, I think I feel that I am putting on people if I ask them for things, or maybe it is just that I think I should be able to do everything by myself – quest for superwoman again.

So there you go – a few things to work on…. One step at a time.

children, parenting

Giving Children a Voice

August 7, 2011 rightfromthestart Leave a comment

I read an interesting article today by Lisa Bloom about how to talk to little girls. The main argument was not to focus on how they look but on what they are interested in or thinking about. This gave me much food for thought. One of the main things I have wanted for my girls when they grow up is to be confident enough to say what they think, to question things and offer an opinion and to have strong self belief. I would like them to be confident around other people like their dad rather than holding back like myself.

The article suggests asking girls about their mind – what they like and dislike and why. I’m not sure that I remember being asked as a child ‘what do you think?’ I was told that I was beautiful, lovely and clever, I spent hours with my nose in a book, but I’m not sure anyone ever asked me to tell them about what I was reading. I’m not great at feeling that what I am thinking is important – I’d like that to be different for my girls.

So we tried it at the lunch table. Sitting at the table together at mealtimes is another thing that is really important to me. Some of my friends think I’m a bit loopy because I eat at 12 and 5 with the kids everyday. I had such a positive experience at mealtimes with my eldest daughter when she was younger, talking about things, playing games and singing songs that I have kept it sacred for all of us. It isn’t always calm or idyllic and sometimes can be stressful when each child is placing demands for things but at least we get the opportunity to talk if the need arises.

At the lunch table today I told the girls about what I had been reading and that I didn’t remember being asked what I was thinking or feeling when I was a little girl. I told them that this is what I had been thinking about and I would go around and they could tell me about something they were thinking about or feeling. Ok we didn’t quite get into philosophical discussions, but the girls began to tell stories. We made up a story together about my middle daughter who decided she would like to shrink to go in a toy plane. My 2 year old suggested that the magic could occur by pressing a special button on her fork. We talked about landing in a drink and thought about which drinks might be pleasant to swim in and others that would not, they chose orange juice amused by the idea that they would be sticky.

How would you get out of the cup?

I could climb

So now you are all sticky how will you get clean?

With magic

Yes a fairy could come and magic you clean and then you could press the fork again to get bigger.

So we had a story and a peaceful and happy lunchtime.

I’m keen to encourage the girls to talk to me about things, I always ask my 7 year old if there is anything on her mind that she would like to talk about. She rarely does and I respect that. I hope that if I start to share some of my thoughts with them that they will feel comfortable enough to talk to me if the need arises. I want them to know that what they have to say is important – I’ll let you know if I succeed.

pre schoolers, review, toddlers

Little Princess – I Want to Play iApp

August 2, 2011 rightfromthestart Leave a comment

I’ve been given the chance to try out the new Little Princess I Want to Play iApp. As I am always on the lookout for good apps for pre-schoolers, especially those of an educational nature I thought I would give it a try.

My first impressions were favourable – the Tony Ross illustrations are as vibrant as those in the books and there is a selection of 4 games to play. The games are simple enough for young children to play, are very visual and have nice sound effects. The instructions for the games are written on the screen. As an app designed for pre-school children I feel it would be very helpful if they were also explained in audio, although once the rules are explained by an adult they are very easy to follow.

My 2 year old absolutely loved this app. She made her way through each of the games starting with pairs as this is familiar from many other apps. The cards are touched to reveal characters from the Little Princess stories and the object is to reveal all the matching pairs.

The dressing up game was a firm favourite, a selection of clothes and accessories are dragged onto the princess until she is dressed, you can then take a picture of your chosen outfit. My daughter was a little disappointed that when she dressed the princess in her swimming costume complete with armbands, goggles, flippers and rubber ring, the princess did not go off for a swim. Perhaps this could be an added feature? A helpful arrow appears to show where the accessories should be placed on the princess, helping to avoid unnecessary frustrations.

Bath Time was another popular choice, Puss and Scruff need to be cleaned. To begin with you rub the animals to lather them up (an arrow appears to tell you if you have missed a bit) and once they are covered in soap, bubbles appear . The object is to pop all the bubbles in the shortest space of time. Even my 9 month old enjoyed playing this one (much to the annoyance of her sister).

The final game is bunny bop. Rabbits appear from rabbit holes and the object is to bop as many as possible on the head in the alloted time. If you bop Puss or Scruff points are deducted ( this didn’t deter my 2 year old who prefered to bop the cat and dog – clearly not as competitive as her dad then).

The app was a huge success with my 2 year old and my 7 year old enjoyed it too. I wouldn’t say it has any particular educational value but is a very good entertainment app for under 5’s.

The Little Princess I Want to Play iApp is available to buy for £1.99. Money well spent I would say.

This app was tested on the iPad.

childhood, children, early education & play, imagination, parenting, play, pre schoolers

Monsters and Imaginary Friends

July 31, 2011 rightfromthestart 3 Comments

My 2 year old has recently become pre-occupied with monsters, sometimes she is a monster, sometimes there is a monster in the room but she mentions them at least once a day. I was fairly sure that this was a developmental stage connected with how young children make sense of the world .

She has also started talking about a bat that lives in her bedroom. There is a small cubby hole in her bedroom where the stairs cut in for our loft conversion – the bat lives in here. When I questioned her about it further she said that there were 3 bats a baby (with her baby sister’s name) a daddy (with her daddy’s name) and a mummy called Rachel. There are also 3 ogres that live in the cubby hole with them – they scare away monsters.

This story made me think about the connection between the whole monster obsession and imaginary friends. When my eldest daughter was around 3 she had an imaginary friend ‘Piglet’ from Winnie the Pooh. Wherever we went Piglet came with us and usually my daughter would pretend she was Roo and I was Kanga.

By a strange turn of events as I was thinking about these things and trying to find some information about the development of imaginary friends and foes in young children, Penny at Alexander Residence wrote a post about imaginary creatures.

Imaginary companions usually start appearing between the ages of two and a half to three, around the same time as children start to engage in complex fantasy play. This also signals the beginning of abstract thought. Children are starting to replace physical objects for mental images, for example they can derive comfort from the thought of a teddy bear in addition to the physical object. Their fears also begin to change from concrete things like dogs or vacuum cleaners to abstract concepts such as monsters. You could help children to have the power to conquer their fears by capitalising on this imagination and asking them to suggest what the monster might be afraid of and making a concrete object to represent it.

In my quest for information about imaginary friends and foes I found an interesting book about children’s imaginations, ‘ The House of Make Believe ‘ by Dorothy G Singer and Jerome L Singer. The book suggests that the key components to fostering creative children are

A key person who inspires play and accepts invention with respect and delight
a place for play
open-ended and unstructured time
simple objects to inspire the adventure

The book also discusses their research into imaginary friends. They found that parents reported that children with imaginary friends were largely happier and more verbal than those children who did not have imaginary friends and that the children were not shy. Imaginary friends are more prevalent amongst only or first born children and they can help children to solve dilemmas. Often they take the form of real characters from television or film in particular super heroes.

Charles Schaefer found that teachers of adolescents reported that their most creative pupils had imaginary friends as young children. Imaginative children were more likely to have parents who valued imagination, curiosity, adventurousness and creativity.

So if your child has an entourage of imaginary companions don’t despair that they are disturbed or worried about something . Develop the stories with them and enjoy it for the short period it lasts – I loved this imaginative phase with my first and I’m looking forward to the wonderful tales that my slightly bonkers 2 year old will unravel.

review, Uncategorized

Hamlet Passes on the Love – Persil Pass on the Love Picnic.

July 25, 2011 rightfromthestart 1 Comment

Hi, I’m Hamlet, a much loved and very special pig. I have been to many places including Cornwall, London and Italy. Being a pig I quite like being dirty, consequently I have never been washed. Today however, I have received a very special invitation to a Persil Pass on the Love Picnic. In honour of this auspicious occasion I had my very first wash. Myself and a couple of friends (the friends were chosen to be given away for other boys and girls to love) were bundled into the washing machine with a capful of Persil Comfort Liquid. Hey Presto soon after we came out sparkling and clean and smelling like a summer meadow. I wasn’t really sure about the smell, it was a little strong for me but my cuddle buddy liked me smelling of flowers.

We headed off for our picnic loaded with food, games and lots of cuddly friends. We had a lovely feast and I think the picnic blanket would probably benefit from a spin in the washing machine with Persil Comfort after the baby squashed strawberries all over it.

Our cuddle buddies then had great fun playing games and dancing on the picnic table before my friends were put into a green bag to be given to Oxfam to share a new life with some more cuddle buddies.

I waved them goodbye as they headed to a new life and was glad to be a special and favourite pig – even if it meant I had to endure a wash.

I am a member of the Netmums Parent Bloggers Network, a unique community of parent bloggers from around the UK who have been handpicked by the Netmums team from our database to review products and brands on their behalf. I am paid an expenses fee to cover my time (and childcare if the fee is big enough!) but Netmums have no editorial control whatsoever about what I blog about. Being a member of the Netmums Blogging Network means that I get to try out products and brands and get my expenses covered but that I retain full editorial integrity.