Category Archives: parenting

miscarriage, parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories

My Miscarriage Story: why miscarriage care needs to improve.

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Friday 15th October is Baby Loss Awareness Day.  1 in 4 women suffer miscarriage, so there is no doubt that the majority of you know someone who has been through this painful experience.  I am one of those women.  This is my experience.

In 2004 I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl, I had conceived easily and had an uncomplicated pregnancy.  Naturally when we decided to try for our 2nd child we expected the same pattern to follow. At first it all seemed to be going to plan, I conceived quickly and easily as before and we began to get excited about a new addition to the family.  At 13 weeks I had a small bleed.  I was worried, so called the midwife who assured me that it was fairly common but that she would book me in for a scan at the early pregnancy unit.  This was on a Saturday and as they didn’t perform scans at the weekend she booked me in for Monday morning.

Monday morning at the early pregnancy unit is not a very reassuring place.  It was full to the rafters with all the weekend referrals and we had to wait hours before we could be seen.  When we were ushered to the waiting area for the scan, I was shocked and upset to see most of the women coming out in tears, some sobbing uncontrollably. We thought we were only there for a routine scan.

When we were finally seen, the radiographer announced that she could see nothing there.  This was very confusing – was I still pregnant or not? The radiographer said that there was something showing on the scan but that it wasn’t a foetus and they were unsure what it was.   We were then taken into a room to see a nurse who was very sympathetic and took some details.  We were then taken into another room to wait for the consultant to talk to us.  We were in there for some time without really knowing what was going on.  I had gone in as a pregnant woman and now I was being told that I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

Eventually someone came and got us.  It appeared that they had forgotten that we were there and everyone else had gone.  We were ushered apologetically into another room to see a junior doctor.  She took blood and measured my hormone levels and said that they would need to test again in a few days to see whether the hormones were dropping. She explained that it might be a molar pregnancy but I wasn’t given any further information on this.

I went home thoroughly confused and devastated.  I looked up molar pregnancy on the internet and was shocked to find that if this were the case I wouldn’t be able to try for another baby for a year. I had to return to hospital again and go through the whole waiting process to have my 2nd blood sample taken.  The consultant rang me the following evening to say that the hormone levels were dropping but that they would need to book me in for an evacuation of retained products.  From this they would be able to determine whether or not it was a molar pregnancy.  He was the first person I had spoken to who I felt spoke with  any authority on the subject.

I was booked in for the operation, I can’t remember how long I waited but I think it was about a week.  I was in a ward with lots of other people and had the feeling that some of these were having terminations.  It felt a bit like a factory conveyor belt.  I stayed in hospital for a few hours and then was allowed to go home.  They told me that if I didn’t receive any results then it wasn’t a molar pregnancy.  I wasn’t  offered  follow-up care , support or counselling.

My memory of those first few days post miscarriage is of lying in bed feeling like I couldn’t bring myself to face the world. Hugging my little girl and husband, crying a lot and struggling to move. 2 days post operation, I started to experience an intense shooting pain like someone was stabbing me with a piece of glass.  I went to my GP who said that I had an infection and gave me antibiotics and painkillers. That night I went to the theatre with my husband.  I could barely walk from the car park to the theatre and had to lean on my husband’s shoulder and shuffle like an old woman.  After a few days the pain eased but still hadn’t gone, I saw a different GP who gave me a different set of antibiotics. It took weeks for the pain and bleeding to go and subsequent trips back to the GP.

The molar pregnancy went unconfirmed and when I  finally healed we started to try again for a baby.  It didn’t happen as quickly this time and as each month went by the hurt deepened. After 7 months I finally had a positive pregnancy test. However, at 10 weeks I started to bleed.  This time the sheer volume of blood and the cramping reminiscent of labour pain meant I was certain I was miscarrying. I rang the midwife who said to get to my GP.  The GP I saw was fantastic.  She was worried because my pain was more concentrated on one side so sent me straight to hospital with a possible ectopic.  We weren’t really prepared and I had nothing with me so my husband went out and bought me pyjamas and slippers.  I was given a private room and the staff were really helpful and friendly.  I had to stay overnight as the radiographers had gone home for the day so I had to wait until the following morning for my scan.  I remember being quite relaxed, this time there was no confusion, I knew what was happening and I had my own space to gather my thoughts and emotions.

My husband returned the following morning and we had our scan which confirmed what we already knew. It wasn’t an ectopic but I had miscarried. This time it was a private scan with no wailing people in the corridors, it felt very different to the first time.  A week after coming home I answered the door to find the community midwife on the doorstep.  ‘I’ve come to do your home visit ‘ she said.  Nobody had passed on the information about the miscarriage.  Thankfully I knew the midwife quite well by this point and I knew the remorse that she showed was genuine.

For the next 10 months the urge to have a healthy pregnancy consumed me.  I would watch pregnant women when I was at the park with my daughter and be overcome with jealousy. Each month was like a torture until eventually I resigned myself to the likelihood of us only ever having one child.  Soon after I fell pregnant.  I was so desperately worried for the first trimester and couldn’t relax until I had passed the 13 week stage.  Every little pain sent me into a frenzy and when my husband went abroad for a week I was so worried that I would lose the baby while he was away. My midwives understood my concerns and gave me early scans which were reassuring.  I was lucky, this was a healthy pregnancy and I went on to have another.  I  am now blessed with 3 beautiful girls.

Mumsnet are currently running a Better Miscarriage Care Campaign.  This calls for a 5 point code of care.

  1. Supportive Staff – my experience would have been far more positive if staff had been trained in communication and listening skills and if I had been given a routine follow-up and offered counselling. Counselling should be for both parents as men are often forgotten in this whole process, if the care for women is shoddy then I would say that the men are given very little consideration.
  2. Access to Scanning – 7 days a week avoiding my experience of Monday morning mayhem.
  3. A Safe and Appropriate Place for Treatment – separate from women having routine antenatal care and termination of pregnancies.
  4. Good Information and Effective Treatment
  5. Joined Up Care – Community midwives are kept informed and concerns are acknowledged in later pregnancies.

I am sure that I am one of thousands of women with a story to tell about inadequate miscarriage care. Miscarriage is difficult enough without these added worries.  Please support the Mumsnet campaign so that in the future women will feel supported  and informed when going through such a difficult experience.

parenting, Uncategorized

Magic Breakfast

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At TEDx London I was introduced to a charity called Magic Breakfast. They provide breakfast for schools with more than 50% free school meals.

Why is this so important?

  • 3.9 million children live in income poverty in the UK (defined60% below the average income)
  • 1 in 4 children have one hot meal a day their school lunch, according to research by Child Poverty Action Group
  • 32% of schoolchildren regularly miss breakfast.

I should imagine it is fairly commonplace for children to skip breakfast whatever socio-economic background you are from.  I am also sure that many of us adults skip breakfast. Did you know that hungry children are not set up for learning.  They are more likely to be restless, unhappy, distracted, lethargic or disruptive. Feedback from schools offering Magic Breakfast Clubs suggests that children who attend are more punctual, better behaved and obtain higher results.

I have been involved in providing guidance on behaviour management for many years.  Something struck me, in all those years I don’t think I have ever asked, ‘Are they hungry?’ I recognise in my own children how hunger or tiredness effect their behaviour but I have never thought about it in a classroom.

I work with under 5’s, many of whom wouldn’t be able to tell you that they hadn’t had breakfast.  Many nurseries and pre-schools provide a breakfast but certainly not all.  It might be worth considering.

 

 

40, parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories, running

Getting Your Groove Back – From Non-Runner to Half Marathon

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Last week I joined Kate on Thin Ice for her Getting Your Groove Back Blog Hop.  This is a way for mums to share stories about how they are reclaiming themselves after having children. My life is full of such stories, some successful, some not, but I’m working on finding a new me.

This week Kate has asked us to suggest a song that inspires you to make changes and to talk about ways of making your body feel better.

I took up running 5 months ago.  I had run a little bit after the birth of my 2nd child but never managed more than 2 miles.  However, after my third I was determined to get fit again and reclaim the body I had before the children.  My husband suggested a 4 mile route, I reluctantly agreed, expecting to walk the last mile.  I played gentle music and took it slowly and was amazed that I managed to run 4 miles and it didn’t seem that difficult.

My 4 mile route involves running downhill with views of the sea and then climbing back up to home.  I love being outside and seeing the beautiful scenery, with music and my thoughts for company.  I sometimes pass cyclists or other runners and they always smile.  I feel healthy, free and able to conquer the world when I run.  My usual music is Adele 21, not only is it good for keeping a steady pace but also the lyrics help me to feel that whatever life throws at me, I am important and strong. Sometimes I feel compelled to let rip and sing along at the top of my voice, but haven’t yet been brave enough.

The 4 miles soon progressed to 5 and 6 and I still wasn’t finding it particularly difficult.  Couple that with the ability to get out in the sunshine with quiet time to think and the feeling that I could conquer the world and I was soon hooked.  At this point I decided to enter the Bristol Half Marathon.

Training continued until I was able to run 9 miles.  I had no idea if I would be able to run the half marathon distance, but I wasn’t worried as I was happy to walk a few miles if necessary.  I started the half marathon at a slow pace, letting lots of people overtake me, secure in the knowledge that if I kept a steady pace I wouldn’t burn out before the end. After 4 miles I felt good and was still comfortable at 6 and 7 miles.  From 8 miles I kept looking out for my family, I knew they were coming but wasn’t sure where they would be. Before I reached 10 miles I had a message to say that they were near the finish, this spurred me on. The 10 mile point started to climb a hill.  My usual route is very hilly so I knew that I could tackle it and picked up pace.  Also by this point I knew that I would make it and that I would get to see my family cheering me on at the end.  I made it to the end it wasn’t easy but I would certainly do it again.  I have already booked in for my next one in the Spring.

Running has given me a new lease of life.  I have never seen myself as a sporty person but this is something I can do.  My figure isn’t quite what it was before children but it is certainly getting there.  After I have been running I feel really good about my body and in the summer I got a tan to boot.

So how does going running fit in with looking after young children?  Ideally I would like to start the day with a run every morning but I will have to wait until the children are older for that. I don’t run as often as I would like, but I can usually manage at least twice a week and try to use the cross trainer when I can’t get out.  After reading an article in my women’s running magazine about how mums find time to run, I am seriously considering trading in one of my buggies for a running buggy.  My middle daughter starts pre-school soon and I will have more time with just one child, so this could be the answer to not getting out enough.

I’ve tried lots of types of fitness and never really stuck to anything.  What I love about running is that it gets me outside and away from my life as a mum.  It won’t suit everyone but it’s right for me.  I’m just sorry it took me until I was 40 to discover it.

children, parenting, parents, review, Uncategorized

Meet Mums Now

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Have you ever wondered where would be a good place to take your children to play, eat, spend a day out or meet friends for coffee? Are you a new mum who is finding it difficult to meet other mums?

According to a recent survey a growing number of new mothers feel isolated and find it difficult to meet other mums.   Toddler groups are often very busy and noisy, this is not always the ideal place to meet other parents. I was lucky to find a small friendly NCT group where I made some good friends, but these are not always available. Even with friends I  remember as a new mum trawling my local town looking for venues big enough to accomodate a number of prams and with good baby changing facilities. This new app could be very useful to mums in a similar situation.

Meet Mums Now is a new app available free from app stores which takes the mystery out of choosing kid-friendly venues and offers social networking for mums who want to meet others.

With over 400 locations in London already listed, users can find child-friendly cafes, restaurants, pubs and attractions near them which have been endorsed by other mums. I notice that the app has also recently updated to include venues in and around my local area of Bristol and Bath.

The app not only identifies locations, but also allows registered users to contact other mums who have recommended a local venue. It’s a great way to share information and meet other mums, especially for those without the luxury of a group of NCT friends in the area.

It’s an idea that was born out of necessity when Nik Dewar, the man behind the app was on holiday with his wife and two young children. Searching for an app which would show them child-friendly locations for lunch in an unfamiliar area, they were surprised to see that what they were looking for didn’t exist, and set out to fill the gap in the market.

At the moment, most venues in Meet Mums Now app are in London, but it’s an idea designed to grow as more destinations in the UK are added. Future versions will allow users to add location of their own, but if you know a great kid-friendly locations now you can email meetmumsnow@gmail.comor send your tip off to twitter @meetmumsnow.com.

* this is not a sponsored post

parenting, Uncategorized

Daily Worship in Schools – To Opt Out or Not?

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There was a discussion in yesterday’s news regarding daily collective worship in schools. This was as a result of a BBC survey which showed that 64% of school children do not attend Christian daily worship.  Many schools are not honouring the statutory requirement to provide daily Christian worship but are instead using assemblies to talk about moral values, community and responsibility.  64% of the adults questioned in the survey believed that the legislation should not be enforced.

This encouraged me to re-evaluate a discussion that we had when our daughter started school.  We are not religious and before our daughter started school she had no concept of religion, God or Jesus . The only time she had attended church was for a wedding  and she  knew nothing about prayers or hymns.  We felt that when she went to school it would be wrong to force her to pray, sing hymns and immerse her in Christian culture, as this did not reflect our beliefs.  We were however, happy for her to learn about all kinds of cultures and religions in R.E lessons so that she could understand that there were an array of beliefs in the world.

We were quite surprised that worship would form a part of her daily school life in a secular school.  Parents of particular faiths had the opportunity to choose faith schools for their children that would reflect their religious culture, but as secular parents we were not given the same options.  Our first reaction therefore was to opt out of collective worship.  The school fought hard to persuade us otherwise.   Eventually we decided to allow her to attend ‘service’ for a number of reasons:

  1. If she didn’t go what would she do instead and who would supervise her?
  2.  We didn’t want her to appear different to the other children in her early days at school.
  3. The content of the service was largely based on non-religious stories, they sang very few hymns and though prayers were said actual praying was optional.

Towards the end of last term my daughter came home a number of times saying that service was boring and I began to question again our decision to let her attend.

She has just entered Junior School so the opportunity to opt out presents itself again. I no longer have the worry about what she will do while assembly is on, she is an avid reader so could occupy herself reading during this time.  Now that she is older and settled with her peers I do not think that she would feel excluded.  I am unsure about the content of assemblies is in her new school so have been unable to make a judgement on this.

I asked my daughter what they did in assembly.  She said that they didn’t pray, they were told stories but they weren’t about God and stuff.  She said that they had a story about Narnia and had talked about School Rules.  I asked her if they sang hymns, ‘What is a hymn?’ she replied.  I explained that it was a song about God or Jesus, she told me that they didn’t.

Is assembly still boring?

It’s ok it’s very short.

If you wanted you could choose not to go to assembly and do something else like read instead.

Her face lit up at this suggestion.

Have a think about it, if you like you can go for a few weeks and see what you think. If you think it is boring or they talk too much about God you could choose not to go.

I have left the final decision with her, she is old enough now to see it for what it is and to make a choice.

I do wonder however how many parents who don’t hold religious beliefs just go along with allowing their children to attend assembly as it is the easy option.  I feel that if we all made a stand in the belief that our children could be doing something more constructive with their time, then schools would begin to challenge the legal requirement.  If schools were faced with a large proportion of children who do not attend assembly and had to work out what to do with those children, then maybe they would make a stand?

I have left the decision with my daughter but am still undecided  as to whether we should make a stand.

parenting

Little Legacy – Lullabies

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Little Legacy is a remembrance project  run by Alexander Residence to celebrate small things handed down by predecessors.

When reading one of the posts this week I was reminded of a lullaby that I sing to my children.  It is a lullaby that I have never heard anyone else sing and have never been able to find elsewhere. I remember my mum singing it to my brother when he was young, he would repeatedly ask for it so I heard it a lot.  I remember my mum saying that her mum had sung it to her.

I don’t know if I remember it properly and probably I don’t remember the whole song because it is very short but it is something I have felt compelled to pass down.  I believe very strongly in the power of singing to calm children and build a strong bond.  When leading parent and toddler music groups I have seen groups of babies go from crying to attentive from the moment I begin to sing.  Many a stressful car journey has been saved by singing with my own children but something about lullabies is very special.  There are few greater feelings than snuggling cheek to cheek with your baby and singing softly to them as you rock them and stroke their head.

I have been meaning to record lullabies for a long time so this is hopefully the first of many.  It is recorded in the way that I would sing  to my children (though perhaps a little louder) without background music or distractions, focusing on the voice and cuddles.

This is lulla bye bye short but sweet and loaded with fond memories.

http://audioboo.fm/boos/455942-lulla-bye-bye

children, early education & play, education, parenting, pre schoolers

Starting School – A Change in the Relationship

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I was asked if I would write a post about starting school. This isn’t a recent event in our household, my eldest started school 3 years ago. Many of my friends are struggling with the thought of their children going to school, fearing how much they will miss them. I don’t remember feeling any great sense of loss but this was probably due to the impending birth of my 2nd child. My eldest starting school meant that I would be able to spend quality time with the baby and get rest when I needed it. One thing that has struck me however when recalling those times is the way in which our relationship changed once she started school.

When you have a baby and toddler you feel that you know everything about them, you are always with them when they do things and understand all their little signals better than anyone else. You as a parent are also the biggest influence on your child’s life. You decide what they are exposed to, what they do, where they go and how they are disciplined and brought up. I felt very close to my daughter in her pre-school years. I wasn’t a stay at home mum but even on my working days I spent time talking to her about what she had done and planning what we would do together.

I think this has been the biggest change since starting school. I am no longer the only influence on her life and many of the things that happen on a daily basis I never know about. When I ask about her day I get ‘fine’ as a blanket response. Yes, she still talks about some things, but I do feel that there is a lot that I miss out on. Helping out at school sometimes helps, you get to know the other children and the routine and teachers. This has been difficult however since having her younger sisters. Being at school takes up a lot of time, couple that with clubs and playing with friends and sometimes you feel like you barely see them. I try really hard to build in quality time, bedtime stories, talking at mealtimes or sharing a game or piece of music, but it still feels inadequate compared to the early days.

I have had a positive experience with school. My daughter has enjoyed school, been sufficiently challenged, enjoyed new experiences and made good friends. She is growing into a wonderful young lady and becoming independent. On occasions we have time together doing things that the younger ones wouldn’t appreciate or be able to do. I look forward to more of these as she grows older.

Once our children start school we are no longer the be all and end all, but we are still a major influence on their lives. They still love and need us, they still look up to us and want us to share in their achievements and interests. We no longer get to spend so much time doing things with them but that enables us to do more for ourselves and appreciate the times when we can do things together. Starting school is a new chapter, bringing new challenges but it is also a time when child and parent alike can gain a bit of independence and build new interests .

40, days out, parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories

Turning 40 – Aging Well? Comparing Photoshoots 10 years on.

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When I turned 30 a friend bought me a photo shoot as a gift.  The photos were stunning and  I’ve always kept one on my wall as inspiration for how I would like to look when I had finally finished my childbearing days.

When I was 30 I felt pretty good about the way I looked, I had just got engaged, was going to the gym regularly, eating healthily and was happy.  More recently however I have come to the conclusion that I have always been too self critical and never really accepted how amazing I looked.

This year I turned 40.  As clichéd as it is, I see this as a turning point.  I don’t want to have anymore children so I now have the opportunity to get my body back in shape, to build a career and to become me again.  I have just returned from a photo shoot for my 40th birthday. In the past 10 years I’ve had 3 kids and 2 miscarriages, I’ve got more wrinkles and spend a lot less time on looking good.  I rarely get a haircut and lots of my clothes are past their sell by date.  However, I have finally stopped beating myself up for not being as slim as I was in my 20’s. For the first time in a very long time I feel good about the way I look.  I think for a 40 year old with 3 kids, the youngest of whom is only 9 months , I look pretty damn good.

I kept the cat suit from the first photo shoot – I never really believed I would ever be able to wear it again, but today I proved myself wrong.  Ok, I’m not quite as slim as 10 years ago and I did need a bit of help from some Bridget Jones pants but I did it and I think I look pretty good .

So here are some of the photos from my 30th

           

And the one’s I had taken today proving we can still look fabulous at 40

For anyone who wants a special gift for a special birthday I can highly recommend New ID Studios for a makeover photo shoot.  The shoot includes a hair wash, cut and style, makeup and the photoshoot. A lovely day out and a great way to boost your self esteem.

parenting, Uncategorized

Losing a Child – Lessons to be Learned

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Yesterday I posted about our lovely day out at Glenny Woods.  It was a wonderful day but there was an incident that spoiled the day to some extent.

How many parents have felt that moment of panic when you realise that you cannot find one of your children?  It has only happened to me a couple of times,  in shops when they wander off and are lost for all of 30 seconds before being rescued by a friendly shop assistant.  It may only be 30 seconds but it doesn’t help that feeling of panic.

Yesterday my friend and I had 6 children between us.  We went on a treasure hunt with 4 of the children leaving a 7 year old and 5 year old to finish the masks that they were making.  When we returned there was no sign of either of them.

Initially I wasn’t worried, my 7 year old is very sensible and I assumed that they were either in the toilet or had gone into another field or part of the wood to play. However, we checked all around and there was no sign of them anywhere.  At this point the staff were beginning to pack up and people were starting to leave.  My friend searched around the woodland leaving me to look after the little ones.  Ten minutes later she sent me a message to alert the staff because they still couldn’t be found.  As I was about to do so I spotted them heading towards the toilets.

I expected them to be upset because they hadn’t been able to find us, but instead they came bounding up with big smiles on their faces.  I explained that we had been really worried because we hadn’t known where they were.  It transpired that some of the teenage volunteers had asked them if they wanted to make a den and they had gone a long way out into a far part of the woods to do so.  I asked my daughter why she hadn’t come to find us to tell us she was going.  She said that she had called and thought we had heard her.

After lots of ‘ but I ….’ type defences, I finally got her to listen, explaining calmly that I wasn’t angry with her but I needed to know that she understood what to do next time.  I explained that if ever she was going to go somewhere and I wouldn’t know where she was she needed to find me and tell me where she was going, not just assume I had heard.

So lesson 1 …  make sure your children have clear ground rules on days out, however sensible you think they are.

The teenagers and staff were very apologetic.  The children had told them that their parents had said it was ok.  Lesson 2…  never assume that a child’s word is correct always check with the parents first.  I am quite sure that this incident will encourage the staff to have  guidelines for what to do if you are taking children away from the main area in the future.

When you are in charge of other people’s children it sometimes takes an incident such as this to teach you how important it is to have rigorous procedures in place.  Years ago as an inexperienced playworker, I took a group of children on a trip.  Before we left we took the register and counted all the children.  We then took the children to board the minibus.  When we got to our destination (not far away) we had a message from  the nursery at the family centre we had just left.  The message said that we had left a 6 year old boy behind.  The boy had decided that he didn’t want to go on the trip and hidden as we had boarded the bus.  We were so lucky that the nursery was on site and that they had taken him in.  From that moment on I always counted children on and off the minibus!

These are the lessons to be learned for childcarers, parents and children, simple reminders that hopefully will avoid that feeling of panic happening to you.

parenting, Random Thoughts & Life Stories, Uncategorized

Listography – 5 Things I Would Change About Myself

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I’m new to listography – often having perused other bloggers’ offerings but never adding my own.  This weeks topic however struck a chord with me.  I’m going through a big period of change at the moment and feel that I have had to re-evaluate every aspect of my life.  Couple that with turning 40 and I’m considering who and what I want to be in the next 10 years.  I therefore thought this exercise might be therapeutic and serve as a focus for my journey to a new me.

Having read Kate’s list I was a little unnerved to find that her list could so easily have been written by me.  So here’s mine – the same but different…

1.  To Be More Demonstrative – The comment Kate made about the feeling of discomfort when a close family member hugs you resonated with me.  I think I’m pretty good at giving and receiving hugs and telling my nearest and nearest I love them.  However, I would like to be more verbally demonstrative.  I have always felt awkward when people do or say nice things not knowing quite how to react.   When a person close to me has done something that I’m really proud of I understate my admiration because it feels uncomfortable to greet them with a flourish.  I don’t know how to react when people give me amazing presents so often don’t show how much it means to me. I’d like to be more able to speak my mind.

 

2. To Be More Confident – I suppose this is quite a big one – ‘more confident at what?’  I hear you say.   To have more confidence in my own ability and not to feel that other people are better/have more to offer than I have, which I think holds me back in lots of areas . To have more confidence in talking to new people, expressing my thoughts and putting myself forward.

3. To Be Tidy and Organised – I hate clutter and would love to have a beautifully clean and organised house and garden but however much I tidy it never seems to make a difference. I try to be organised but still end up losing things, getting out of the door late and forgetting things.

4.To Be More Exciting – I see myself as a fairly ordinary boring person.  I’d like people to look at me and say ‘Wow you do that?’.  I think I’m interesting but my life is not, maybe I just want to be Superwoman.

5. To Be Able to Ask for Help – I often have friends and neighbours who say ‘If you ever need any help just ask’.  They probably hear my usual stressed tones in the mornings as I struggle to get 3 kids out of the house and stop the dogs from barking at all and sundry.  There are few people who I go to for help, I think I feel that I am putting on people if I ask them for things, or maybe it is just that I think I should be able to do everything by myself –   quest for superwoman again.

So there you go – a few things to work on….  One step at a time.